oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
