Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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