College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize