Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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