Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
