oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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