i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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