I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
