Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
