Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
