he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
