Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!