I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.