he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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