so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....