i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later