She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
wow bdsm is so cute
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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