nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
