Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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