ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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