oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
