i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
