why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
