I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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