On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
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