You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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