i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
