2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
only if we run a train.
done.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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