She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".