you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?