summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.