it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.