So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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