There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize