I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
