He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
