Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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