Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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