My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
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This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
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I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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