how can u be prego again
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
