Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
and you said cock pushups were impossible
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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