Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
