You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
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Dignity is for republicans.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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