he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
