Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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