You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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