She went from zero to smokin in five shots
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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