Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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