Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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