ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
