that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
