that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
