I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
