I wish I could teleport
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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