How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
