I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
