It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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