She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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