hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
