You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
