I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
