Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
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My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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