Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
