I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
