...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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