OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
