I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
