Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
