im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
