Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
